Getting No Where Fast...

That is how I feel today. I went for blood work and an ultrasound on Friday and my "follicle" was 8mm. I went back again today and we have achieved and 11mm follicle which sounds fantastic right. OK not so much. Today day 19 of my cycle, I should have already had a follicle that was at least 15mm, not to mention I should have ovulated. Donna informed me that at this point they do not believe I will be ovulating this cycle so they scheduled me for an endometrial biopsy on March 14. Gee that sounds like so much fun doesn't it. After my HSG and some other GYN procedures I have had done my stress and anxiety level are about to hit the roof.

I know I am supposed to be keeping positive but today frankly, I just don't feel like being positive. Neal is doing much better than me in that department which is ironic to all of you who know my husband really well. Ha. He is just pleased because he feels like we have done more in one month with this doctor then in over a year with the Navy docs. Also he does well when there is a plan in place. As far as he is concerned this diagnostic month is part of the plan. As far as I am concerned, today at least, I am just growing more frustrated.

It is funny because I have this tendency to make light of frustrating situations, for instance... I find it very ironic that I am having difficulty conceiving yet I work in Labor and Delivery so I am surrounded by pregnant women all the time. I also look at many of the young women and girls that come into have their babies and think, maybe I should dumb down, do drugs, and sleep around and then maybe I might be able to have a baby. This made the girls at the fertility office laugh today. At least I could help brighten their day.

I know this is somewhat of a negative post, sorry for that. I have hope tomorrow will be a better day. So for anyone who is reading this blog that is having trouble getting pregnant, I say to you, it is OK to have bad days, sad days, and negative days. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you keep having hope that tomorrow or next week something good may come from all this struggling. I have hope that I will finally get pregnant, and when I do become a mother, all of this frustration will have taught me to be patient and I will be a better mother because of it.